Why it’s deadly to be Irish

  1. The food… Okay, so we’ve gone hipster. But still, Barry’s tea, a crisp sandwich and a fry up still cures any Irish hangover or ‘hangry’ issues (even if the fry up is on sourdough bread served at brunch with jazz in the background).

2. We are the only country in the world that sold red lemonade. We are (worryingly) proud of that fact.

Red-TK

3. We have outstanding willpower – We all successfully gave up something for lent and stuck to it. In some houses, you were allowed to break Lent for St. Patrick’s Day…I consider that cheating, but maybe that’s because we weren’t allowed.

4. The craic:  We understand it and we bring it! We do things for the craic and we have the craic. We judge people on how much craic they are. We also invented banter. Londoners think it was them but it wasn’t! To sum up, we are the craic and we have the bants.

Irish

5. We take our heritage and history very seriously. We go to great (some might say unnecessary) lengths to make sure people know we’re Irish. When travelling and mistaken for being British, we are insistent about the truth. Everyone is then visibly happier and more welcoming when they hear we are actually Irish so we are deservedly smug.

6. Everyone wants to be us. People claim heritage, descendants and long lost family to be considered Irish and only sometimes for the Rose of Tralee! There is no other country big or small that has its national day celebrated all over the world.

Irish saying

7. We are hardy. Why wouldn’t we be? If we had an arm hanging off, our Irish mammies would say, ‘sure aren’t you grand?’ or ‘go on there now, go out and play’. This is still the case and makes us tough cookies, full of moxie.

8. We can turn anything at all into a joke. We were fierce funny during the recession and we’re great during an Irish heat wave. The last time we had three days straight of hot sunshine, someone sent me this;

The good ol' days

9. We are very, very funny and kindly produced Tommy Tiernan, Dara O’Brian, Tara Flynn, Maeve Higgins, Alison Spittle, Aisling Bea and Dylan Moran.

10. We are also very good at sarcasm, taking the piss, winding people up and having a laugh but not in a mean way!

11. We do nothing by halves. We’ve actually had four seasons in one day and we take the heat particularly seriously.  If we have a mildly, fine day in March, expect to see lots of middle-aged men, in shorts and socks…topless…eating a 99! Plus we never stop talking about the weather. We’re all or nothing people.

12. We are very charitable. We are actually the 9th most charitable country on the planet according to the World Giving Index 2015 and, eh, Bob Geldof organised the original Live Aid.

13. We have the most fun names to get people in other countries to say; Grainne, Siobhan, Aoibheann, Aoibhin, Dairin, the list is endless.

14. We have the aforementioned craic about it; as recently demonstrated by Saoirse Ronan.

15. We gave the world Saoirse Ronan.

16. We produced other amazingly talented people such as Gabriel Byrne, Liam Neeson, Richard Harris, Neil Jordan, Brendan Gleeson, Hozier, Stephanie Roche and Katie Taylor.

17. We have also produced spades of world-famous literary talent….Willam Butler Yeats, George Bernard Shaw, James Joyce, Oscar Wilde, Edna O’Brien, Emma Donoghue and Ross O’Carroll-Kelly to name but a few.

be yourself

18. And as if that wasn’t enough, the following talented and beautiful people are also ours to claim; Colin Farrell, Domhnall Gleeson, Aidan Gillen, Cillian Murphy, Victoria Smurfit, Laura Whitmore, Brian O’Driscoll, Jamie Dornan and Jack Reynor.

19. We invented the submarine, the guided missile and the ejector seat… Not to mention the cure for leprosy, Guinness and the word ‘howrya.’  An Irishman even designed the White House! Unbelievably, we even invented the flavoured potato crisp and the bacon rasher…so basically Tayto and rashers. (see number 1).

20. We cared enough to come #hometovote when it really mattered, one of my proudest moments of being Irish, making us the first country in the world to legalise marriage equality by popular vote; 1.2 million of us voted in favour. As another Irish funny man, Colm O’Regan said;

21. We gave the world Bono; I am sure this one will divide opinion…

22.We also gave the world U2…Ah; we’re all back in agreement.

23. We. Are. Sound. Simples.

Claire x

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